Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? The Cullens!
by EdwardCullen-mybrandofheroin
Summary: Join the Twilight characters as they all play on "who wants to be a Millionaire?" ...
1. First Contestants

**Hey Everyone! Hope you enjoy my story! Its my first one so it might be a bit... um amatury. haha. xx**

EC-mboh: Welcome ladies, gentlemen, smelly werewolves and hot vampires! Tonight we welcome the characters of Twilight to the comfy squishy seat of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?!

MyBoyFriendEdwardSparkles: Er… the Cullens of course!

EC-mboh: Yeah, well… Anyway. Lets welcome to the seat first… Chief Charlie Swan and his buddy Billy Black!

*cue for audience to clap*

EC-mboh: Charlie! Billy! Before we start with the questions, lets learn about these fine gentlemen!

Charlie: *giggles*

EC-mboh: So guys, tell me! What's it like to be the fathers of a lady vampire and –

Charlie: What? A _Vampire_?! Who?

EC-mboh: *swears silently under breath* Huh? *sweats nervously* did – did I say – say vampire? Hah… What I um meant was … Lets get started with the first question …

Billy: Yes, yes. Good idea.

Charlie: *eyes suspiciously* Hmm… Okay! 

EC-mboh: Alright, your first question is for $100…

In the series of Twilight, Charlie becomes extremely fond of one of the Cullens Which one?

Is it…

Edward

Rosalie

Alice

Emett

Charlie: *becomes completely blank* Um… right I'm pretty sure its not that Edward guy I would like my bullets to make contact with… *laughs evily* Rosalies pretty hot, but to be honest blondes not really my type. As for that big guy…

Billy: Oh for God's sake! C! lock in C.

EC-mboh: C? Lock in C? Is C the right answer? That will-

Audience: Get on with it!

EC-mboh: Fine, fine! Just trying to make it intense!

Yes, C is right.

Audience: *Claps*

EC-mboh: Oh wopdee doo! Why are they clapping?... *Sarcastically* Yeah, well done it takes a big schmuk NOT to be able to do that…

Billy and Charlie: *glare evily*

EC-mboh: *smiles nervously* Ha… Alright, question 2 for $200…

**Yeah I know its quite short... but I'll try make my next one longer x!** **Please Review! you know you want to!**


	2. Assaults

EC-mboh: Alrighty! Question 2 for $200…

What is Cliff Diving?

Mowing the Lawn.

Plucking nose hairs

Jumping off a cliff

Punching a werewolf in the face.

Charlie: Aren't these questions going to get _any_ harder? Gosh, give us a challenge would you?!

EC-mboh: Are – are you _dissing _these questions?!

Charlie: Errrr… yeah pretty much 

EC-mboh: I think we better take this conversations outside…

Charlie: Well, come on then! We only have an hour on this show!

*Charlie and EC-mboh go outside*

About 30 seconds later…

Billy: AHHHH! Charlie! What – What happened to your face?!

Charlie: Nothing… he didn't even touch me.

Billy: Oh… Yeah I was um kidding. So why are you back so quick?

EC-mboh: Well, we decided after some serious negotiating… We'd take it outside later when the show was over, we wouldn't want to waste time would we now?

Okay where were we…

Ah Yes! Question 2…

Mowing Lawns… well just scroll up to see what the question was!

Charlie: Ah yes, the easy question. *Sees EC-mboh snarling and snapping teeth* wow, wow, wow! I was KIDDIN'! Well I'm locking in D.

Billy: No wa-

Charlie: Shut up Billy! I know what I'm doing … get back into your wheelchair or I'll roll you into the mud!

Billy: Not before I ram you in the ankles!

EC-mboh: Right… when were all finished quoting the movie…

Charlie and Billy: Sorry.

EC-mboh: So are you locking in D?

Charlie: Ye-

Billy: Nooooooooooooooooooooo! *jumps off wheelchair and flies through the air.

Charlie you IDIOT! *cellotapes Charlies lips together* Lock in C! Now!

EC-mboh: C is lo-

Charlie: *Rips cellotape off* Noooo! D lock in-

Billy: No! Lock in-

Charlie: No-

EC-mboh: Would you make up your flamin' mind!?!

Billy: *Knocks Charlie in the head with a brick* Okay C lock in C

EC-mboh: C is locked in…. and it is correct! You've won $200!!!

By the way… is he dead.

Billy: Hmm… I think he's just unconscious…

EC-mboh: Alright. Lets get him cleaned up then. You do realize the police wont be happy with you assaulting the chief police… tut tut…

Billy: I… I didn't mean… I don't know... I'm SORRY!

EC-mboh: Billy!! Breathe! I was kidding!

Billy: Oh. *stops hyperventilating*

EC-mboh: Or was I… hehe.

Billy: *Starts hyperventilating*

EC-mboh: Alright… Lets take a wee break and get these gentlemen sorted out. We'll be right back!

Theme music for who wants to be a Millionaire starts playing.


	3. Chilli and Cat fights

EC-mboh: Really Charlie… I definitely think that you should stick with that moustache… it really brings out your –

Camera man: Um… EC-mboh, were live… like… right now.

EC-mboh: Ha! Of course we are… Sorry about that… We are back! With a slightly concussed Charlie I might add… his brain doesn't seem to be on Earth at –

Charlie: What? I'm fine! Stop exaggerating and get on with the show…*rolls eyes*

EC-mboh: Like I said… he's pretty much gone loopy. Man! Who knew this show could be full of so much action! Anyway… we are now up to question 3 for $500… Hmm… I've always wondered why it goes question 1 for $100, question 2 for $200 but… not question 3 for $300! I know! Weird huh?! But I'm getting sidetracked aren't I? Question 3…

How old is Edward Cullen?

25

17

108

5

Charlie: Oh! Oh! I know, I know! Pick me pick – Wait a minute! Where the heck is Billy?!

Billy: *Calls from out of the room* I'm in the little boys room! Don't wait up! I may be a while… I had a little bit of chilli while the break was on.

Charlie: Alright then Billy! You be strong in there buddy! Show whose boss! Sigh… He's so amazing… Okay… the question! I'm confidently locking in… B, 17!

EC-mboh: Computer… lock in B, 17. It is locked in and… Bum Bum Buhhh! I'm sorry! That is the wrong –

Charlie: WRONG?! How- how can it be wrong?! Charlie Cindy Swan is NEVER Wro –

EC-mboh: Wait! Haha! Cindy?!

Charlie: Drats! Shut it! As I was saying… NEVER W –

EC-mboh: Ahahahahahahahaha! Cindy! Cindy?!!!!!

Charlie: Sigh… *Cellotapes EC-mboh mouth* … NEVER wrong! What was the right answer if it's not B?

EC-mboh: *muffle muffle*

Charlie: Oh right… *takes cellotape off*

EC-mboh: Its – giggle – C, 108.

Charlie: Haha! Very funny… And I'm 155 aren't I? Wait… your serious?! This game show is rigged! I'm calling the police… oh wait… I am the police. I could… or maybe… Yeah! I like that idea! *slaps EC-mboh in the face.*

MyBoyFriendEdwardSparkles: Cat Fight!!

Charlie: Ha! Take that! And that!

EC-mboh: Ahh! Security! Security!

Charlie: No! You'll never take me alive… but that doesn't mean you have to kill me okay? Dammit… *Security guard throws Charlie over his shoulder* Hmph. This sucks. *Exits*

Billy: *Enters* Ha… If I was you I wouldn't go in the toilet second from the end. Actually… if I was you I wouldn't go into that bathroom at all! Okay… What did I miss? Hmph. Let me guess… Charlie got it wrong… why am I not surprised… *exits*


	4. Peanut Butter, Rosapie and letters

EC-mboh: before the break our first two contestants went home with… bum bum. Nothing.

Charlie: *calls out* You don't have to rub it in!!! *sniff*

EC-mboh: Hehe… oh I'm so very sorry Charlie… lots of people go home with nothing! *smirk* Ahem… anywho! The next two contestants are… CARLISLE AND ESME!! I HEART THEM! *cough* I mean... lets welcome them to the seat. *mutters* not that they need anymore money… they could lend some to me… Carlisle, Esme!

Carlisle: Yeah, hi EC-mboh, you do realize we can hear you? Remember… *points to self* Me is vampire!

EC-mboh: Oh…crap. I gotta stop doing that!... ANYWHO! How are you guyz?! I haven't seen you in like… forever… literally. We've never met…ahem.

*Esme and Carlisle exchange strange glances*

EC-mboh: well this is awkward… should we just start with the first ques –

Esme: Yes!

EC-mboh: Okay… The first question for $100 dollars!!

What colour is Edward Cullens hair?

black

red

WAIT A MINUTE!! I have an itch in my err… butt. *smiles sheepishly* Exsqueeze me for a moment. *walks out of the room*

Esme: *mummers* oh… my… god…

Carlisle: Isle Esme?

Esme: Race you there!

EC-mboh: That's better! La la la da da la. Err where did they go?! Hmm… maybe they've seen the light and realise that their rich bastards and don't need anymore money! Or… maybe it's because I haven't showered in…*starts counting fingers* ha… that's a new record.

MyBoyFriendEdwardSparkles: Dude… you gotta stop talking to yourself! Theres only the whole world watching!

EC-mboh: Shut the hell up! – btw check out MyBoyFriendEdwardSparkles stories! There AMAZING!xx – I really need to get a new job. *sigh*… Up next is… EMMETT AND ROSAPIE!!!

*audience claps*

EC-mboh: Yeah, yeah… quieten down, quieten down! Ah… yes. Rosapie. EMMETT!!!

Rosalie: Its actually rosa –

EC-mboh: Shut it Rosapie! Emmett is talking!

Emmett: EC-mboh!!! Look, Look!! I brought PEEEAAANNUUTT BUTTTEERR!

EC-mboh: Oh… shucks! For me?! You shouldn't have!

Emmett: Exactly! That's why it's all for me!

EC-mboh: Why… you little –

*Emmett flexes his muscles*

EC-mboh:… wonderful wonderful vampire! Um *sniff* question 1 for $100…

What colour is Bella's Red Chevy?

brown

black

pink

red

Rosalie: Its –

EC-mboh: Rosapie! Zip it! Yes, Emmett?

Emmett: Hmm… what colour is Bella's RED Chevy… I think I'm going to lock in d) Red.

EC-mboh: Correct! You Genius! I was sure that question would catch you off guard! But no! YOU answered it! Such a smart talented –

Rosalie: Question 2?

EC-mboh: Gezz Rosapie! Patience! So… Emmett! Tell me… what's it like to be a strong, brilliant –

Emmett: Don't forget HOT!

EC-mboh: Yes, of course… - vampire.

Emmett: Well… EC-mboh… I suppose it's really… hmm… really… really…cool.

EC-mboh: *wipes tears out of eyes* true words of a hero!

Emmett: Hey! Is that peanut butter in your mouth?!

EC-mboh: *hides peanut butter behind back* No!... its err… a bit of stuff from my nose.

Emmett: Ew?

EC-mboh: Hehe?

Emmett: I swear it smells a little nutty! Hmm… may I try?

EC-mboh: Su-sure…

Emmett: Slimy… yet satisfying… Mmm… with a nose like yours who needs peanut butter?!

EC-mboh: *mutters* who indeed…

Rosalie: *glares at EC-mboh*

EC-mboh: Seriously Rosapie, if you stare at me like that one more time, I am seriously going to slap you down! Yeah, that's right! Back away!

*Rosalie exits*

EC-mboh: Well that's three people who have ditched me tonight… Silly Rosapie…

Emmett: Yeah… I think she got a tad mad because her names Rosalie… not Rosapie.

EC-mboh: Really? Yeah it's a possibility I suppose… She could be jealous… I mean! Look at me!

*screams of terror echo from the crowd*

EC-mboh: Anyway… *turns to face Emmett again* *sigh…* he's left hasn't he?

MyBoyFriendEdwardSparkles: Yup! *smiles*

EC-mboh: It was a rhetorical question…

MyBoyFriendEdwardSparkles: I know! *smiles*

EC-mboh: *glares*

MyBoyFriendEdwardSparkles: …your making me uncomfortable!

EC-mboh: Good! It's working then! Well, well, well… what's this! Emmett left me a note… Ahem…

Dearest EC-mboh,

If I don't go after Rosalie I'm going to live to be an old divorced vampire… even if I don't get old… look, I'm just going to be a divorced vampire okay?! Hope you understand…

Your peanut butter buddy…

Emmett xx

EC-mboh: This show is so weird sometimes… No… It's just weird tonight actually…

After the break… join Jasper and Alice join us for some crazy fun on Who Wants to be a Millionaire!

*theme music starts playing*

EC-mboh: Don't change the channel! Seriously! If you do I will hunt you down like James hunted Bella. See you soon! :)

Emmett: Hey! Where's my peanut butter?!


	5. Unexpected Magical Guest

EC-mboh: And we are back! Before the break we had peanut butter and… um well that's pretty much all I remember… Our contestants went home with… bum bum! Nothing! Actually… now that I've actually thought about it… has anyone actually gotten _anything_?! – no Emmett… Peanut butter does _not _count… What is wrong with these Forkians?! (forks people) Their eyes change colour and they can't even get some money on a games show?! Ridiculous!

*scary person in the crowd turns into a clown*

EC-mboh: What the…?

Harry Potter: Woops! Wrong show…

*exits*

EC-mboh: Excuse me a minute while I go book my counseling sessions…

*exits*

Ron Weasley: Harrrryyy?! Where are youuuu? What's this?! A games show? How peculiar… WAIT A MINUTE! This isn't just any ordinary games show! But… no… it can't be… not… WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?!

MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles: err the Cullen's of course!

EC-mboh: *walks in talking on cellphone* Yes, that's right. Aha. Yes, Harry Potter just walked onto my games show and he put a spel- Hello? Huh… must of hung up by accident… probably call back soon…

Ron Weasley: And _you_! You must be…

EC-mboh: Yes, yes I am!

Ron Weasley: …Robert Pattinson!

EC-mboh: Try again?

Ron Weasley: um… Taylor Lautner?

EC-mboh: *sigh* one more try…

Ron Weasley: Of course! How could I be so stupid!

EC-mboh: Yes, yes! Go on!

Ron Weasley: Kristen Stewart!!!

*awkward silence*

EC-mboh: Wait! What are you even doing here Ron? I thought you were a fictional character!

Ron Weasley: Well I thought Edward Cullen was a fictional character but…

EC-mboh: Yeah, yeah. Alright fair enough. So why are you here?

Ron Weasley: Well EC-mboh –

EC-mboh: That's professor-mboh to you!

Ron Weasley: Right… um _professor-_mboh I came looking for Harry –

EC-mboh: Harry who?

Ron Weasley: Potter you dimwit!

EC-mboh: *mutters* what's got your wand in a knot…

Ron Weasley: Anyway… I came looking for Harry because he climbed into this portal… and now look where I've ended up! Twilight land!!

EC-mboh: Yes, the land of hot vampires and scawy wolves! :D

Ron Weasley: *sigh* why couldn't I of climbed through the Lord of the Rings portal… or even better the Spongebob one…

EC-mboh: Oh! Spongebob?! I love spongebob! He's like the best underwater creature I know! Well… the only underwater creature I know but still! He's a cool – I mean… he was but I'm so over spongebob now… *crosses fingers behind back*

Ron Weasley: Soo… I'm just going to… go… -

EC-mboh: No! You can't go! You must play! Seriously… you have to. I'm the author remember. So if I say something you do it buddy. So… say : EC-mboh is my idol and not even Harry or Voldemort can compare with him. Not even Dobby… wait no that's not true… Dobbys the man. Well… elf… but anywho… say it.

Ron Weasley: EC-mboh is my idol and not even Harry or Voldemort can compare with him. Not even Dobby… wait no that's not true… Dobbys the man… well elf. *GASP!* you evil imbecile!

EC-mboh: *Laughs uncontrollably* Hahaha!

Ron Weasley: ??? Share the joke?

EC-mboh: Hahahahahahahaha… ha…

Ron Weasley: Are you finis –

EC-mboh: Ahahahahahahahahahaha

Ron Weasley: SHUT UP!

EC-mboh: ha.

Ron Weasley: *stares evilly*

EC-mboh: said say IT! Get it?! It! But you just blabbed on about how amazingly cool I am.. *sigh* I'm a genius!

Ron Weasley: Yes you are! No I didn't say that! Stupid author…

EC-mboh: Hey! I wouldn't be criticizing me if I was you! Besides... I'm just making this show more interesting…

*Harry Potter walks in*

EC-mboh: See! Like that! Interesting huh? *SMILES*

Harry: Ron! Are you alright?!... *GASP!* *turns around to EC-mboh* Ahhhhh! It's Kristen Stewart!

EC-mboh: Nooooo! *runs out of room* *runs back inside* THIS! Is Kristen Stewart! I don't see ANY resemblance! None! At all! *chucks Kristen out of room* CRASH! Woops… Sorry! He he… Anywho! Yeah… so I guess you and Harry have to play now, Ronald.

Ron Weasley: Urgh! It's Ron… only Hermione calls me Ronald… but she's hot so… I mean… I'm just going to shut up now.

Harry: Can we just get started?

EC-mboh: Alright… alright… Mr Grumpy pants…

Alright… Question one for the dimwits…

AHHHHHHHH!

VOLDEMORT!

Voldemort: Yes! It is I! The grea – Wait! No way, no way, no way! Who wants to be a millionaire?! Come on Harry, Ron! Let's play!

Harry and Ron: *stare blankly*

Voldemort: Chillax! Don't worry after we go back to Harry Potter land I'll go back to making schemes to kill you *smiles politely*

Harry: Um… I'm not sure if that's a good thing but… Alright!

EC-mboh: Alright…?? Join us after the break as we play with team mates/arch enemies who wants to be a millionaire!!!

Crowd: The Cullens!

Harry, Ron and Voldemort: And us too!


End file.
